Tuesday, October 01, 2013
I AM NOT A CAGED BIRD!
I have come to a very difficult conclusion. To call myself a poet is almost like a curse. I can write poetry but to claim the status is destitution.
I wrote my first poem at the age of 11. Got published for the first time at 18. I've been through the rejection letters, publications in college, open mic circuit and anthologies. The experience at first was to exorcise the demons and ghost which troubled me as a child. First attempts at poetry were more or less inspirations from the books I was reading at the time, Prince and Pauper for example.
Perhaps watching the movie The Exorcist did not predate this and came afterwards but my poems were about what was living in my closets and under my bed.
At this point and time I was also managing attempts at art and music. I had a miniature piano in the bedroom. Mom and Dad were kind enough to buy samples of musical instruments. Not long afterwards I was studying at the MET, examples in art appreciation and writing exercises. And so my cup was full and my table was set. Any attempts at becoming a so called poet was pure fantasy. Little information was made available on who a poet was and what type of life he lived. I wrote these samples and kept them hidden.
At Xavier highschool where I studied I marveled at students who laid claim to the poet's revelry. They knew names of poets, other writers included, went as far as to imitate their posture and wrote what were indeed poems, written with clarification and wit. I was jealous and still I knew not what a poet was. It was clear to me that these were poems and my classmates were living the fancy of literature but I was less myself, busy with extra curricular activities including music and soccer.
After highschool and before I started studying at the School of Visual Arts, I started writing creatively. I had discovered the poems of Charles Bukowski and the plays of Sam Sheperd. With this as inspiration I had found two literary figures who inspired me as literary figures but also as men or rather heroes. I wanted to be them. This began a period and time in my life where I admired actors and musicians wanting to imitate them.
The very first poem I got published was "Twilight Time" written after an early evening spent with a highschool friend. The process was casual. I was going through difficult and dark times and so it was very reflective. But the writing process emanated from what was and is my creative mind. Looking back I don't remember fashioning my style after any writer in particular just letting my creative juices flow. The second poem which was published in American Poetry Anthology much like the first was "Sophisticated Lilacs" written as an ode to my mother. She ws very much a part of my life at the time, as a guiding light.
I have since been published in collegiate presses and other anthologies, done the poetry circuit, gotten to know the circles of egos artists and writers travel in. I lay this burden on myself to write and create. I come from other realms of creativity and as I create I have drawn favorable energies to me. To put myself out there as some one in need is wrong. I hope to channel my talents into future short stories, video, publishing and maybe even film.