Dear Mr. Kink,

For once, I would appreciate your machismo if it were exemplified in a room with heavy luminance, painting adorning walls with monochromatic figures and black roses scattered all over, perhaps a portrait of Jesus disguised as the devil. I know of your one and very publicized phobia. My mother's snapshot is usually face down when I remove my trousers to display my throbbing goat. Would you be willing to undress your women instead of your one-night-stand approach to sex? I like sadism, but not as an entity. I wish you would change your ways. Gwen Applebaum is your ultimate victim. I'm not a priest and I hate to slip into a pair of God-shoes to advise you on what to do once you've entered the hour that spells "F.U.C.K. F.E.S.T."

You fail to see your partner's cry for affection: an ingratiating moment when you could perfect your tongue-kissing. I don't trust you engage in cunnilingus even though I favor the practice as a better way to draw blood if the woman has arrived at a period of such display.

You call yourself a sex symbol. It adds more truth to my perception of sex symbols as misleading. But the need to fantasize is welcomed. I dream of a falling movie star with one last wish-- Marilyn. 'Nuff said.

Sincerely,
The word pimp

(Excerpt from GORILLA HEAD )